another one bites the dust: a meditation on single life


broken hearted
hopeless romantic
fearlessly lonely
under sexed
misunderstood

i don't want to be alone....
i have seen the other side and know that it's greener
the problem....the only men i get all butterfly tummied about turn out to be dysfunctional losers who...depending on age...probably will end up alone for their lack of willingness to shut-up and grow-up....i just spent close to a third of my life with someone who treated me worse than anyone has ever treated me in my life and it was still so much more rewarding than dealing with men that can't even communicate about relationships past a middle-school IQ...so maybe i'm just a hopeless romantic for the assholes of the world...the confused and lost souls who would rather hoard all of their exentricities away in their brain than risk being loved for who they are....essentially committing themselves into a little self-induced psyche ward....and this attraction to the wrong guy leaves me confused and i cry and am heartbroken for the lack of a chance to even find out if i'm interested before i'm shot down by their inability to even begin to grasp what is is that they want...or who they want...or if they want...i want to be loved for who i am...so i left the man who loved me unconditionally for what i represented...and i thought i had learned my lesson...started giving men the benefit of the doubt...tried dating people i didn't have butterflies for...but then i turn myself into a nervous reck...started feeling like i didn't want to talk to anyone anymore....but then i'm alone again...the worst part...i've actually found a couple who seem like real men...only they're usually so young...i just don't see a future in it...what happened to the 70's babies that fucked them up so bad...i have some ideas, but don't make the rules...so here i am again...broken hearted by a fool who doesn't know even the slightest bit about me...insulted and offended by a typical retardation of simple human interaction...so if you don't have butterflies for me...own up to it and let it be known..we can be friends....that much i'm good at....and if the butterflies do flutter through...shut-up and let it be...and damn unless the sex sucks...can't we just fuck 10-12 times before we need to worry about it...cause 1 is the loneliest number that i ever knew!